I Think, Therefore IM (With Zach)


Promise that you will sing about me.

Z: Ackerman’s dad passed away. Shits crazy!

L: That sucks. Knew he was really sick.

Z: Yeah, I feel so bad. His sister is my age.

L: I know. His dad must’ve been about my age, right?

Z: Don’t die please!

L: Not intending on it anytime soon. Would like to be a very old man so you guys can change my dirty diapers.

Z: I’d be happy to.

L: That’s what you say now. BTW, I’m going for stupid sonogram in a few days. And will let you know if I’m dying or not.

Z: Sounds good.

L: What freaks you out most about death? And, in particular, mine?

Z: Mostly not having someone to go to when I have problems or any type of questions, especially the person I’ve gone to for the past 20 years.

L: Won’t you miss my sense of humor?

Z: Yeah, but I’ll continue the legacy.

L: No doubt. Do you ever think about your own death? Most kids your age don’t.

Z: No. I think about my friends that have passed away and it makes me more inclined to make better decisions. Like driving-wise and drinking-and-driving-type of shit.

L: That’s interesting, that it actually made an impact.

Z: Yeah, one of my best friends choked on his own vomit and died freshman year. It was horrible.

L: I remember you telling me about it. I was just thinking: that new Kendrick Lamar song that we both love so much? It’s all about death!

Z: The whole hook is asking for a promise that you’ll sing about him when he’s gone.

L: Will you sing about me?

Z: You’re so gay.

L: What scares you the most about dying?

Z: I have big plans for the future so I can’t be taken off this earth too soon.

L: That’s an excellent answer and why I love you so much.

Z: I love you too.

L: And that’s the end of today’s story.

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